


When Pain Is All Thats Left

by MephistosFemaleBrain



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2019-12-29 22:24:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18303056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MephistosFemaleBrain/pseuds/MephistosFemaleBrain
Summary: Sara has to go through hell to protect her team. Will she eventually find peace? And what about that one woman who despises her? No clue where this story will take our two fav ladies, just follow me on this dark and twisted road...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First time, first fic - be kind ;)
> 
> It is not edited and i might make small changes depending on where this takes me.

“We have to get that information at all cost!” Director Bennett growled through gritted teeth. The agents holding the female captive nodded fearfully. “Make that bitch talk, I don’t give a flying fuck how you do it - just make it happen!” he snarled again, turning on his heels before deciding against it. He grabbed the woman by her throat and squeezed until her breathing became very laboured. “You will talk, Ms Lance, I will make sure of that!” He squeezed one final time until her blue eyes started to turn up into her skull before taking a step back in disgust.

“Get her out of here, I have seen enough of Rip Hunter's legacy in this institution for a lifetime. The agents nodded and dragged the half-conscious woman down into the bureau's basement where they kept prisoners. This one was special, however, Director Bennets price possession so to speak and they wanted to make sure nothing would happen to her - that is no more than necessary to make her finally give up the location of Rip Hunter and the other Legends.

They dragged her into an almost sterile room and dropped her unceremoniously onto a bed, securing her hands and legs with chains on leather straps to rings in the concrete floor. Sara was still only semi-conscious, they had drugged her heavily during the ambush and she was only now beginning to wake up. Her head hurt badly and her tongue felt dry in her mouth. “What do you think the Director meant when he said - just make it happen?” one of the younger agents mumbled, looking down at the helpless, yet beautiful woman.

“None of our concern!” an older one snarled, “ That's for others to decide, they have their methods I suppose! Come on, let's go. I am already in overtime and I was planning on some entertainment tonight - this view here is quite inspirational!” The others laughed at his dirty innuendo and left the holding cell. Sara couldn't move very well yet, her body felt totally out of sync but her vision came back and she stared at the perfectly white ceiling.

It seemed like a lifetime before she was able to consciously move her limps and head again. She tried to pull at the straps, making the chains rattle noisily against the metal bed but they would not budge. She sighed in defeat. She was stuck and her only hope now could be that Rip or her team would find a way to free her soon. Sara was exhausted and also the bright light and the rather uncomfortable spread-eagled position were less than helpful drifted off to sleep.

 

“Sara Lance!” Ava said approvingly, watching the woman toss and turn on her bed, trying to fight against the heavy chains on her console. She zoomed in and laughed quietly to herself. “Not feeling so smug now, are we, Ms Lance!” Ava couldn’t help but enjoy the sight of Sara chained down, only a few flights of stairs underneath her office. How much time she had to spend chasing these so-called Legends that she despised with all her heart. How much she had suffered under Director Bennett because of Rip and because she was unable to get anywhere near them.

She had hated Sara Lance from the very first second they had met, her arrogance and her inability to adhere to anything that was remotely sensible went against anything Ava believed in. “Now, the table has turned. Now, you will be finally under my control!” Ava said viciously, staring at a close up of Sara's face, noticing how tired the other woman looked and the clear defeat etched into her features. After a while, she turned off the camera and called her assistant.

“Garry, I need you to prepare the interrogation room for me and Ms Lance. Make sure we have enough of the serum at hand, I have a feeling Ms Lance won’t budge under the normal dose!” “Yes, Agent Sharp!” Garry confirmed. Ava got up to get herself a nice, warm cappuccino before she made her way down the steps. She felt so good for the first time in a month, her step was light and a slight smile was tugging at her lips. This was her triumph now, she would make Sara Lance speak and then she could finally move on from this case that had been bothering her for over two years now.

Ava turned around a corner and met Director Bennett just before the door. “I need answers, Agent Sharp. At all costs!” “Yes, sir. I know that and I will make sure she speaks. I have already instructed Agent Green to bring a double dose of the serum as I anticipate she will fight a normal dose quite easily.” Director Bennett looked at Ava with an almost wolfish expression. “Ahh, Agent Sharp. But this one, this Legend might call for more drastic measures.” Ava swallowed hard, “ I.. I don’t understand, Sir. What do you have in mind?”

Bennett looked at her, and for second Ava was scared of him, then his expression softened and he said. “Nothing, Agent Sharp. Let's see how far you get with her today!” Ava nodded, the uneasiness was still in her mind when Garry interrupted them. “Sara Lance has been transferred to the room, Agent Sharp.” “Thank you.” Ava nodded and Agent Green turned and left. “Report anything she sais back to me!” Ava nodded again.” Yes sir, of course, sir!” “Good.”

Bennett nodded and left Ava alone in front of the door. What could he have meant - more drastic measures - Avan wondered for a second? She shook her head, this wasn’t the time for distraction now. She had to get her answers. When Ava entered, Sara Lance had been chained to her chair with a black hood pulled over her head. Her head turned towards the sound of the door and the footsteps nearing towards her. The newcomer made no sound but from her smell, Sara could tell a female presence. 

Ava did not say a word at first, staring at her captive and deciding on the best course of action. On the table lay two syringes filled with a yellow liquid. Ava was tempted to pull the hood of Sara's head and made her see Ava, her arch enemy finally in full control over her but decided against causing an early confrontation. Instead, she took one of the syringes and lifted the hood only slightly, to gain access to the other woman's neck vein. 

Sara felt the hood being lifted and heard someone pick something up from the table. “What are you doing?” she growled but instead of an answer her head was suddenly in a tight grip, and she felt a needle being inserted into her vein. “What the fuck…” she snarled trying to fight the iron grip unsuccessfully. As suddenly as she had been gripped, her head was roughly released. Still, her attacker did not speak but she felt a strange sensation gripping her body.

She felt very heavy suddenly like she was losing control of her body. Drugs, those fuckers were drugging her - probably to get her to talk about Rip and her Crew. Sara swallowed hard, her head already swimming and started to fight against losing control. Her muscles bulged, and the chains holding her in her position were straining against their bearings.

 Ava watched the other woman and notice how her body tensed, her muscles coiling and straining against the chains. “No need to fight, Ms Lance!” she chuckled. “You can not fight this very long anyway!” The other woman's head snapped towards her. “Ava?” she said surprised but already slightly blurred. “Agent Sharp for you, Ms Lance!” Ava spat and finally pulled the hood from Sara's head. Sara's eyes were as blue as they had ever been but were now lacking their usual sparkle.

Her pupils were starting to grow wider and she had a confused expression on her face. “Ava, please. Help me!” “Agent Sharp!” Ava said cooly and looked at her sternly. “Where are Rip and the rest of your crew?” Sara just looked at her, her face clearly displaying shock and hurt. “Why, Ava?” she said quietly, never taking her eyes of Ava. “For the last time”, Ava growled, “You will address me as Agent Sharp!” But Sara just stared at her, her eyes swimming in and out of focus.

Ava looked at her and contemplated her next move. The drug was clearly having an effect on the other woman, yet as Ava had expected, she probably would not get anything out of her with this single dose. She was glad that she had inquired with the medical supervisors about another shot and what amount could still be safely administered. She sighed and took the second syringe,  grabbing Sara's chin, tilting her head and unceremoniously inserting the second dose.

She watched as Saras face relaxed, her pupils now as wide as was humanly possible and she stopped straining against her chains entirely. “Where is Rip Hunter and where is your crew?" she hissed in Sara's ear. “Ava, please help me,” Sara mumbled, her speech badly slurred now. Ava huffed in frustration and stood upright. She would give the chemicals a few more minutes before she would ask again. God how she hated this woman! Could nothing ever be easy with her?

Ava paced the room and after a few minutes returned to Sara who was now slumped over, only held up by the chain tying her upper body to the chair. Ava shook her roughly.”Answer me! Where is Rip Hunter and where is your crew?” Sara's head shot up and she looked at Ava confused. “Help me, Ava.” was all she managed to say. Ava huffed in frustration and hit her fist on the metal table, startling the hapless woman in front of her.  


	2. Chapter 2

The door to the interrogation room opened after a few hours and Ava was surprised to see Bennett enter. “Any success yet, Agent Sharp?” Ava shook her head and bile crept up her throat. “ I have already administered the maximum dose, yet she won’t crack!” she said in frustration. Bennet laughed “I told you, this one might need less civilized methods to spill the beans!” Ava stared at the Director and said stiffly “Sir, we have rules on how to keep and treat our prisoners. I assure you that I am doing everything that is allowed under our own administration's rule book to make her speak.

 Bennet did not answer but moved to Sara's side, who was still rather foggy. She lifted her head slowly and stared at the director. “Bennett?” Sara said, her voice barely audible. Ava felt very uncomfortable all of a sudden and moved to Sara's other side. “Sir, I can handle this I assure you!” she said quickly. Bennett did not look at Ava but stared back into Sara's face, suddenly lifting his hand and tracing her jawline with his index finger. “Such a pretty face,” he said when the dreamy expression on his face turned to rage.

“Sir!” Ava said again, hoping to catch the man's attention. Before Ava could do anything else however,  the hand that had so gently traced Sara's jawline a second ago was now buried in the woman's blond hair, violently pulling her head back. “You will answer to me, you stupid bitch!” Bennett spat at Sara, pure hatred now very visible in his eyes. His face was mere inches away from Sara and spit was flying from his lips into her face when he hissed at her menacingly “I will break you!”.

“Sir!” Ava shouted, very nervous now. Bennett did not seem to notice her at all now and Ava was not sure what to do. She hated Sara, yet there were rules and this was very much outside of them. Sara chuckled and closed her eyes. Ava decided to put an end to this when the director suddenly slammed Sara's face on the metal desk with full force, the sound echoing loudly through the room. “Director Bennett!” Ava screamed now, grabbing the man's arm and trying to get him away from Sara. In an instant, Bennet released his hold on Sara's hair and straightened his suit. “Take her back to the cell, we need to devise other methods for her interrogations. Have her ready a zero nine hundred tomorrow."

Without sparing another glance at the now unconscious woman or Ava he left the room. Ava was too shocked to move for a few seconds before she was woken from her lethargy by the laboured breathing of her prisoner. She startled when she realised that a small puddle of blood had formed under the table where it was dripping from the edge. “Oh my god,” Ava said before carefully lifting up Sara's head, returning her into a sitting position. The woman was unconscious, her lower lip was split almost in half and some of her front teeth were broken off, her nose stood in a strange angle and was bleeding profoundly. “What the hell..", Ava gasped.

She did not feel much sympathy toward Sara but this wasn’t good and it wasn't how the bureau did things. She tapped her courier and called for Agent Green. “Garry, we need the med bay prepared for facial injuries. Nothing life threatening but urgent. And Garry, we need a cleanup crew in the interrogation room!” “Yes, Agent Sharp.”

“Ms Lance,” she said in a low voice. “Ms Lance, can you hear me?” Nothing. Ava checked Sara's pulse and although it was slow it was there. “Ms Lance!” she said louder, shaking Sara's shoulder. The other woman's eyelids started to flicker and after a few seconds, a very dazed Sara was looking at Ava, trying to say something but only managing to spill a rather huge amount of blood. “Ms Lance, don’t talk. I will have you taken to the med bay.”

Sara nodded and simply kept looking at Ava, who felt rather uncomfortable under her gaze and was relieved when the door finally opened and a nurse with a wheelchair entered. “Take her to the med bay, but keep her chained at all times.” Ava said cooly “Agent Green will return her to her holding cell once you are done.” The nurse nodded and took care of the bleeding woman.

Ava sighed and pinched her nose. It had been a long and frustrating day with a rather unsettling ending and what she needed were a hot bath, a glass of wine and some sound sleep. Ava went up to her office, finished some more paperwork and occasionally checking the monitors of Sara's holding cell. The woman wasn' back yet but should be in the next thirty minutes or so. Ava's thoughts drifted back to Director Bennett.

The man had scared her, he had looked so out of control. She was very worried now and she already dreaded the meeting tomorrow. She pushed the thoughts away and refocused on her emails. The next time she checked the monitor, Sara was back on her bed, chained and sound asleep as it looked. Ava nodded to herself and readied to leave the office. When she got home, she took a long shower, emptied half a bottle of wine and fell asleep without wasting any more thoughts on her captive, Director Bennett or what tomorrow would hold in store for her.

She arrived back at the office at 8 am, quickly scanning her Mails before checking with Garry if there had been any reported incidents with her prisoner. Garry confirmed that Sara had slept through the night, but that Director Bennett had asked that her interrogation would be continued today at 9 am in a different room yesterday. "Garry, where is that room? I am not sure I even know how to get there." "Director Bennett said it is in the cellar next to the central heating system. He asked to bring Ms Lance at 9 am sharp and for you to meet him there." "Thank you, Agent Green, please arrange for the transfer." "We're already on it Agent Sharp."

Ava nodded and made her way into the basement towards the cellar doors. The uneasy feeling from yesterday was back. What was he playing at? Why interrogate someone in the cellar? Ava felt suddenly very nervous and a bead of sweat formed on her brow. When she found the central heating system she already saw dim light pouring out of a doorway and heard the director jell instructions. "Chain her up already. I don't have all day!" Ava quickened her steps.

Sara Lance was her prisoner, and although she couldn't care less about that woman there was a protocol to follow and she would make damn sure Director Bennett would not be messing with her investigation. Bevor she entered the room, Garry and two other Agents left the room hurriedly, worried looks on their face glancing at Ava. Dread poured over her, what the hell was going on inside that room? When she entered the room she stopped dead in her tracks.

Sara was chained upright to Metal rings in the ceiling, her legs chained to a ring the floor.  The chains on her arms were pulled so tight that her toes barely touched the floor and Ava imagined that this position must become very uncomfortable very quickly for her prisoner. Sara was clad in the bureau issued cotton pants and t-shirt for prisoners, goosebumps were showing on her arms where the skin wasn't covered by the fabric.

Sara was facing away from Ava but tried to turn her head towards the newcomer. "Have you assembled an audience, Director Bennett?" she asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm. Ava cleared her throat, "May I ask what's going on here, Director Bennett?" "What do you think it is, Agent Sharp?" Bennett asked venomously. "We will be having a wonderful conversation with the oh so charming Ms Lance," he said sarcastically.

And with that, he turned towards a table and took a long, rather sturdy looking cane that was tightly bound with thin leather strips. Avas' eyes went wide in horror. "Sir, please, protocol states.." "Agent Sharp, your career is on the line here. I am the director of the bureau - are you really planning on lecturing me about my own rules?" the last part was almost shouted at Ava and she shrunk back. Bennett moved towards Sara and poked her back with the cane. "So, Ms Lance. I guess you have already figured out what this party will be like, so I am offering you a chance. Tell us what we want to know and we will all have a nice, warm cup of coffee together." he said in a sickly sweet voice.

"Na, sorry. My doctor advises me against coffee!" Sara said sarcastically, neither fear nor nervousness betraying her voice. Ava couldn't help but admire her for it. Without further warning Bennett hit the chained woman with all his force, hitting Sara squarely in the back. Ava squealed in horror at the sound, yet Sara made no sound at all. This seemed to infuriate the Director even more and he hit her even harder, again and again until blood started to seep through the thin fabric of the shirt. Ava felt sick and nauseous, she had seen blood and death in her life but she had never been part of torture.

"Tell us what we want to know!" the director shouted at the former assassin, panting heavily, sweat running down his temples. "Tell.. us..what..we.. want .. to.. know!" he screamed again, every word being followed by a particularly hard and vicious blow. Still, no sound left Sara's lips but her head started to drop forward heavily. Blood was no running freely and the fabric had split in places to reveal angry, purple welts and deep, jagged cuts where the skin had split.

"D..D..Director Bennett. please stop. She can't take no more!" Ava said in horror. "Oh, but she can!" he said laughing like a mad man, following up his words with more vicious beatings to her legs. Finally, a barely audible moan escaped the chained woman's mouth and Ava rushed to her side. Tears were running freely over Sara's face, and she looked barely conscious. Her eyes caught Avas and she whispered. "Help me, Ava." Ava stared at her for a second, before moving between her and the raging director.

"This is enough, Sir. With all due respect, killing her won't provide any answers either!" The director looked like he was ready to strike Ava too, but then he dropped the cane and looked at both woman in disgust. "Get her to the med bay. Of course, I won't kill her, but I will make her speak!" Ava nodded, her hands balled into fists. She turned towards the woman she despised so much, yet felt pity for now. Ava moved towards the lock that kept the chains in place and carefully lowered the other woman to the ground.

Sara lay still and a low moan escaped her lips while more tears ran down her face. Ava carefully lifted her bloodied shirt with shaking hands and had to suppress a gag when she saw the other woman's back. There was hardly any skin left that was normal, her back was crisscrossed with cuts and welts and Ava knew that she had never seen anything so cruel and so horrible in her life. She moved to Sara's head, lifted it carefully and checked her pulse. it was very weak and she needed medical aid very quickly. 

She wanted to ping Garry but down here communication devices did not seem to work as she couldn't get a connection. "Sara, I will have to carry you, I will be careful as possible but I need to get you to the med bay." The other woman did not answer and Ava suspected that she had finally fallen become unconscious. Ava carefully lifted Sara into her arms, carefully readjusting her into what looked like a comfortable position and made her way towards the basement.

Warm blood was seeping through clothing and dripping onto her trousers while Sara seemed to curl into Ava, her hand cioling tightly into Avas shirt. "Why don't you just tell us!" you stupid woman Ava growled, noticing more tears running over Sara's cheeks. The woman was moaning louder now, and Ava was very worried. When she was finally able to call Garry and had escorted Sara into the med bay she went into the nearest bathroom and puked.

The torture played back in her head, over and over and when she was able to stand again she looked at her dishevelled image in the mirror. Her crisp suit was wrinkled and stained, her white shirt was seeped through with blood. Ava puked again, before calling a driver to take her home.


	3. Chapter 3

Ava was shaking by the time she arrived home. She still felt nauseous and as soon as she had closed the door behind her she basically ripped the bloodied suit and shirt from her body, realising in horror that Sara's blood was also on her skin. She made her way into the shower and started to scrub herself, desperately trying to get rid of the images flashing through her mind.

When she finally turned off the shower, Ava pulled on her pyjamas and took a sleeping pill. She knew she would not be able to sleep at all without it, she just could not shake the horrifying images of Sara's skin and the almost maniacal smile on Director Bennetts lips from her mind. She also felt guilty. She had let this happen, a clear violation of protocol.  As much as it was her responsibility to bring wanted criminals to justice, as much was it her responsibility to protect law and order.

She did not like Sara Lance one bit, she hated her at times, but whatever the woman had done so far did not justify the way she had been treated. Deep down Ava knew she could not really have stopped the Director, but she should have at least tried harder to stop him, should have cared less about her standing with Bennett or her career. Yet she also knew that Bennett would never kill Sara, he needed her and the medical facilities in the Bureau were second to none.

As long as people were treated quickly, almost all injuries that would have been fatal a few years back could be fixed. Guilt washed over her again, of course, Sara's injuries could be treated, but that did not make it right at all. There would be scars and there would probably be damage to Sara's soul as well.

Ava tried to calm herself, Sara was in good hands for now and Ava would check on her first thing in the morning and then she would speak to the director. After all, Sara had not said anything through the whole ordeal, clearly, Bennett must have seen that his methods were equally unsuccessful as her own.

When sleep finally overcame her, it was dreamless and when she woke up in the morning she felt relaxed and rested - that is until the images of the day before resurfaced. Ava groaned and buried her face in her pillow. She finally dragged herself out of bed, dressed in a fresh suit, pointedly ignoring the bloody mess lying next to her front door. She would deal with this later, for now, she wanted to check up on her prisoner and speak to Bennett.

She arrived at the office rather early and glanced at the control monitor showing the holding cells. Sara was there, this time she seemed to have been chained face down on the bed, considering how her back had looked that was probably a sensible move. Ava looked at the still form for a few minutes and was relieved when the woman stirred. She would check up on her later today, first, she wanted to have a word with Bennett.

“Agent Green, can you shedule an appointment with director Bennett for me - it is urgent.” “Yes, Mam..” Garry hesitated. “What is it, Garry?” Ava asked, her alarmbells going off immediatly. “Well.. so… so Director Bennett wishes to continue the interrogation of Ms Lance today, and well he requested your pressence at 9 am in the cellar again.” Garry looked very nervous, almost pale. Ava swallowed hard. “He.. he wishes to continue?” she siad almost to herself. “Yes, Agent Sharp… I.. well.. I am not sure what is going on down there but Ms Lance isn’t doing to well rumour has it.”

Garry blushed, he knew how much Ava detested office gossip. He was surprised to not be reprimanded for it by his superior but instead watched Ava chew her bottom lip staring into space. “Agent Sharp, are you ok?” he asked tentatively. “Yes, yes of course Garry. Thank you for the update,” she said quickly, dismissing the junior agent. Fuck, she thought. Fuck, fuck, fuck. What was that man thinking? She would have to confront him now, she could not let yesterday happen again.

Ava got up and hurried toward Bennetts office but his assistant told her that he was already setting up the interrogation with Ms Lance. Ava drew in a sharp breath, she had a very bad feeling about this and suddenly felt the need to not leave Sara alone in the pressence of this man. Ava hurried towards the cellar room but when she arrived Sara was already chained up like the day before.

Bennett was almost dancing around the chained woman, teasing her, coaxing her while displaying that manical smile he wore during the beating. “Come now, Ms Lance. So pretty and so head strong but I will break you. You know I will, why fight it. Why extend yur suffering?” with that he stopped in front of her and gently carressed her cheek, closing the distance and for a second Ava thought he was going to kiss Sara. Ava could not see Sara's face but she felt disgusted by his actions nevertheless. She opend her mouth to announce her presence but befor she could say a single word, Sara had used Bennetts procimity to knock her head as hard as she could in his face.

Bennet screamed in surprise and held his nose. Blood was dripping from his face and his eyes had watered up. He stumbled back from the blow, while Sara was laughing hard. Ava gasped in shock, her stomach turning but before she could do anything at all Bennet took his revenge and started to drive his fists mercilessly into Sara's body.

The woman looked like a boxing bag, her body swinging from side to side as much as the chains would allow. Bennett looked absolutely furious and was grinding his teeth, spit flying from his mouth with every blow. He landed a few vicious hits to Sara's sternum and liver and Ava could hear the air leaving Sara's lungs in a wheezing sound.

“Director Bennett” she screamed and tried to pull him away from Sara who looked like she could not draw any breath. Her face twisted in agony and her chest heaving, desperately trying to draw air. Bennett acted like a rabid dog, however, pushing Ava aside like a rag doll landing a few more blows in Sara's face. Ava heard a sickening crunch of breaking bones. Ava finally was able to push Bennett away from her prisoner, she shouted at the furious men.

“I will report you to security if you don’t stop this madness in an instance, Director Bennett!” Ava was furious. “I am the Director, Agent Sharp. Watch your mouth!” he screamed back. “Did you see what that BITCH did to me?” he growled. “She attacked me, she attacked the Director of the Time Bureau, that is a very punishable offence, Agent Sharp.”

“We have rules and regulations for that Director!” Ava shouted back. “Killing people by torturing and beating them to a pulp is not part of those rules!” she shouted, her fists clenched. Bennett stared at her, his anger still visible in his contorted face. “Not yet, Agent Sharp. Not yet!” he said, suddenly dangerously calm.

“Get this thing to the infirmary, we will continue tomorrow. Make sure she is fit for interrogation.” Ava gulped. “I meant to talk to you about it, I don’t think we will get anything from her with these methods.” “Oh but we will, Agent Sharp, trust me we will,” he said menacingly, smiling through the drying blood on his face. With that, he turned and left Ava alone with the other woman.

This time Sara was very much conscious, she was still having trouble breathing and when Ava inspected her face her right eye was already swelling shut and purple bruises were forming along her jawline and temple. her nose seemed broken again, her upper lip was cut open by Bennets blows and blood was trickling out of her left ear. Ava knew she would not find any bruises on her torso from the blows but suspected that Bennett probably had cracked a rib or two.

Sara was heaving again, unable to take deep breaths. Ava quickly loosened the chains holding her and lowered her to the ground rather gently. “I… I am sorry, ms Lance. I am not sure what has gotten into him, but I beg you to you give us the information on Rip Hunter so we can transfer you to a different facility!” Sara laughed quietly, shook her head and looked at Ava. Her face looked hideous, hiding the natural beauty it normally possessed.

She had trouble speaking, maybe her jaw was also broken Ava thought. “Whatever he will do to me, I have been through worse. I have already died twice. He doesn’t scare me.” She had said it with such conviction and coldness in her voice that Ava took a step back from her.

She knew Sara's story of course, and she was aware that her life had been anything but easy yet this absolute finality in how she said it told Ava that she would ever give up Rip or her team, even if that meant dying. Ava looked at Sara and suddenly realised that she respected her for it. She despised her still, but she could respect her loyalty to a fault. Sara coughed and winced, holding her right side. “I will kill him,” she said calmly. “Hugh?” Ava said, lost in thought for a second.

“Bennett, I will kill him,” Sara said again. Ava looked at the woman sitting on the ground but did not know how to answer to what she had said. “Come on, let's get you to the med bay,” Ava said and tried to help Sara up but it seemed that the other woman was very tender to the touch.

When she finally stood, Ava took a second to check out her back. The wounds had closed but her skin looked still very raw, and Ava knew the scarring would be horrific. She felt a pang of sympathy. Sara chuckled softly. “Pretty right?” Ava was again lost for words and simply looked at her.

“Let’s get me ready for another round tomorrow!” Sara said and started to slowly limp towards the exit of the door. Ava stared at her, this woman really was something. She could not help but be impressed, yet guilt was building up inside her again. This institution that she owed so much too, that she was willing to die for, did not stand for torture and abuse.

At least it never had, until now. Ava pushed the thoughts away, she would not let herself fall into an existential crisis over one Sara Lance who was a criminal after all. She quickly caught up with Sara and decided against offering support since the woman seemed to manage quite well on her own. She walked next to her, watching her every step.

“No chains?” Sara asked quietly. Ava cleared her throat. “Agent Green will take you to the infirmary and we will take appropriate measures to contain you. For now, I trust you will behave.” Sara nodded and looked at Ava. “Why, Ava?” she asked her, almost defeatedly and Ava looked at her swollen face in surprise. “Ms Lance, please focus on your breathing and refrain from speaking to me, I am not your friend, colleague or anything familiar. You are a prisoner of the bureau and will only speak if you're spoken to.”

Sara sighed and turned her face from Ava. It was hard to read her injured face, yet Ava thought she had seen sadness flash across Sara's healthy eye for a brief second. Before her thoughts could linger on this fact, they were met by Agent Green who was visibly shocked when he saw Sara. “Agent Green, please organise secure transport to the infirmary for Ms Lance.” “Yes, Agent Sharp!” Garry nodded.

When Sara was taken away Ava sighted loudly, her legs suddenly feeling very weak. She slid down the wall and buried her face in her hands. This wasn’t right, none of it was. She had to talk to Director Bennett, she had to end this. Ava got up slowly and notice the small trail of blood Sara had left behind. She stared at the spots of blood for a long time before ordering a cleaning unit to get rid of it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so a lot of writing in such a short time. Next Update will be at least a day or so. I do hope you enjoy this and I promise there will eventually be light - at least I hope so ;)

Ava waited in front of the Director's office and when she was finally allowed to enter, he smiled at her. He looked so professional now, his desk, his office and his whole statue screamed professionalism yet she had seen what he was capable of and she would never ever be able to forget it.

 

“Agent Sharp, take a seat,” he said, and Ava noticed that his smile never reached his eyes. “Thank you, sir.” Bennet scrutinized her for a minute before he got up and walked towards his window. He clasped his hands behind his back and hummed. Ava found the whole situation more than bizarre and cleared her throat. “Ahh yes, Agent Sharp. I suppose you are here because of our prisoner?” “Yes, sir, I wanted to speak to you. I can not tolerate this treatment any longer, we have clear rules about torture and the wellbeing of our prisoners and…” “Ahh, yes that we do,” Bennet interrupted her without turning towards her.

“We do indeed. We have just passed new rules with the board, and you will find that my methods are now well inside the regulations around obtaining vital information.”

 

Ava sat up very straight, and her thoughts went into overdrive. “Sir, what.. I mean.. does this mean..?” Ava did not finish the sentence. “Yes, Agent Sharp, physical means of persuasion are now officially sanctioned by the bureau.” He sounded strangely bored. Ava gulped. “Sir, but so far Ms Lance has not given us the information - surely those means are no longer necessary as they do not work?" Ava tried to convince him.

 

Bennett turned towards Ava and smiled, a sickly sweet smile. “Now, now Agent Sharp. Do I detect some form of misguided pity for our prisoner?” “No.. no Sir, of course not,” Ava studdered. “Good! It would be a shame to demote such a talented Asset of our upcoming Leadership ranks, wouldn’t it? May I remind you that the information on Rip Hunter's whereabouts is vital to us, more than vital to be quite frank.” Bennett said sternly. “Of course, Sir!” Ava nodded and felt helpless. What was she to do now? “Dismissed, Agent Sharp!” Bennett said nonchalantly.

 

Ava got up and made her way into the office, she could not believe what she had just heard. She tried to settle into her normal work routine, but her eyes kept peeking back at the control monitors. Sara wasn’t back yet, and Ava was strangely glad. Shortly before she got ready to leave however, the ex-assassin was brought back in and chained on her bed. Ava simply stared at the monitor, she felt so lost and lonely all of a sudden.

What was she to do? What in the world could she even do? Torture was now sanctioned in an organisation that she strove to lead one day. Tears started to form but Ava blinked them away hastily. Crying would not help, she needed a clear head to plan her next steps.

 

When she came into the office the next day, Sara was gone. Ava's hands started to shake and she called Garry to see if he knew anything. “Garry, where is Sara Lance?” Garry looked upset, “Director Bennett has taken her one hour ago, he did not want to wait for you.” “I am on my way,” Ava said worriedly but before she could hang up Garry said “No. Director Bennett has left clear instructions for you, you will accompany a new set of recruits into assignments this whole month.”

“WHAT” Ava nearly shouted at Garry. Her mind was racing, the Director clearly wanted her out of the way and without her Sara would be at his mercy. “Garry…”, she said desperately. Garry nodded. “I..I know Agent Sharp.” Ava was panicking. “Look, watch out for her as best as you can will you?” Ava asked him finally. Garry simply nodded, a sad expression on his face. “Is it true that this is now officially sanctioned?” he asked disbelievingly. Ava nodded and heavy dread settled on her.

 

Ava led the recruits into their assignments half-heartedly, she was simply trying to finish the jobs as quickly as possible to have the chance to be back in the office early. However, every time she came in, the same update was delivered by Garry. Bennett was interrogating Sara Lance every day, sometimes for hours on end and every day Sara ended up in the infirmary to be put together. Ava felt like shit, she wanted to help her but knew there was not really anything she could do. Every day she checked on her via her monitors and over time she noticed how thin the woman had become, she was vanishing before her eyes.

 

Ava pulled Saras medical records and cringed. Broken bones, fractured skull, brain swelling, internal bleedings, cuts, bruises, burns, lost teeth. What the hell was he doing to her? She was secretly glad she no longer had to witness the horrific ordeal Sara had to go through every day but instantly felt ashamed of herself. Still, Sara had not budged and not given out any information whatsoever. Ava stared at the woman for a while longer and realised that the predominant feeling towards her was no longer disdain or hate but pitty and respect.

 

Ava got up and moved without thinking towards the holding cells. She stopped before Saras and looked at the emaciated woman that was staring at the ceiling. Ava swiped her card and entered the cell. “Sara,” she said softly, kneeling next to her. Sara turned her head and a weak smile graced her pale lips. Her eyes looked huge in her bony face and although they were as blue as before they lacked the spark that had always intrigued Ava. “Nice of you to see me”, Sara said almost whispering.

 

Ava felt the sudden urge to grab her hand, but restraint from it. She looked at Sara, a strand of hair stuck to the former assistant mouth but with her hands tied down, she was not able to move it. Ava tentatively reached out to move it but stopped when Sara flinched, squeezing her eyes shut. “I am not going to hurt you,” Ava said and tried to move the hair again. This time Sara did not flinch, and when Ava's fingertips touched her skin the chained woman sighted and unconsciously moved into the touch. Ava was startled for a second, but then she understood and tears formed in her eyes. Sara was so starved of basic human affection that she craved it like water or food.

Ava cried openly now and gently stroked Sara's thin face. The other woman had her eyes closed and had tried to move towards her as much as the chains would allow it, her soul desperate for any comfort, any tender touch she could get. Ava did not know how long she had stayed at Sara's side when Garry knocked. “Agent Sharp, it is really late now. You should go home!” Ava nodded absentmindedly. Sara had fallen asleep, her chest slowly rising and falling, her face moved towards Ava as closely as possible. She looked so small and vulnerable that Ava had to swallow hard to suppress her crying. She got up brusquely and turned to leave the woman she used to hate with all her heart. “ It is not right you know.,” Garry said quietly. Ava looked at him and nodded. “I know.”

 

Ava settled into a weird sort of routine, spending all day in the field, receiving her daily update on Sara from Garry and checking her medical files before spending time by her side gently stroking her face. The ex-assassin looked worse every week, her hair looked matted and dry, her skin was flaky and her eyes seemed to become darker with each passing day. Ava could not wait for the month to be over, so she could at least try and prevent Bennett to lose all control and maybe spare Sara the worst of his torturing.

 

The first day back at her desk was strangely quiet, she anxiously waited for Sara to be taken to Bennett but nothing happened until rather late that evening when she was just about ready to leave. Ava rushed towards the cellar, hoping to be able to step in at the beginning, trying however desperate it might seem to stop further violence against Sara.

 

When she arrived, Sara wasn’t chained to the ceiling, however. She was lying on the floor, already bleeding from several cuts. Bennett was towering over, brandishing a large knife. “Get up. Fight me. I know you want to kill me. This is your chance Ms Lance, come and get me.” Ava could see Sara trembling, her broken body trying to function for her. When she stood Ava gasped in horror. A log slash crossed her face just underneath her eye. Her hands showed several deep cuts, some of her fingers no longer moving in sync. By god she thought, Bennett was attacking Sara with a knife. Bennett started to dance around the prisoner and when Sara tried to lunge at him he lashed out again, cutting her biceps deeply.

 

“Stop this!” Ava screamed but to no avail. Before she could do anything Bennett had tackled Sara and pinned her to the ground. Sara tried to fight him but her body was too weak. “I will kill you if you don’t speak!” he growled at her but Sara simply smiled at him. “SPEAK!” he screamed at her but Sara simply shook her head. In one swift motion, Bennett drew the sharp knife across her throat and Saras eyes went wide. Blood was pumping out of her arteries now, her breathing became a noisy mess and bubbles formed where Bennett had cut her. Ava did not think twice but ran as fast as she could to call for help. “Garry, she shouted once she had a connection.

"He has killed her, oh my god he has killed her. Send someone, we need critical incident people in the cellar NOW!” Garry's face turned white and he nodded.

 

Ava turned back and ran back towards the room, Bennett had gotten up in the meantime and kicked Sara hard in the rips when Ava entered, but the blond woman had already passed out. She wasn’t breathing anymore, and a frightening amount of blood was pooling around Sara's head on the floor. “What have you done!” Ava shouted, panicking at the sight in front of her. Bennett looked at Ava menacingly and laughed.

“She’ll be fine, they’ll put her back together for the next round.” Bennett looked at the dying woman and spat on the ground. “Filthy vermin, she deserves everything that she is getting!” With that, he left and Ava hurried to Sara, but there was nothing she could do right now. Finally, Garry and the medics arrived who started to work on Sara immediately, closing the wound with a portable device, knitting the flesh and tissue together as if it was magic, while another one was administering artificial blood two bags at a time. “You have to leave now, Agent!” one of the medics told her, gently removing Sara's hand from Avas. She had not even realised that she was holding it, tears were streaming down her face and she wondered where all the hatred for Sara had gone.

 

She sat on the ground once Sara was stretchered out of the room, and stared and the pool of blood that was already starting to clot. “Agent Sharp,” Garry said and gently rubbed her back. “Sara will be ok, let's leave this place.” Ava nodded and slowly got up, her brain was foggy and suddenly she had to puke. Garry supported her before leading her back to her office. Ava could not think but kept staring at the now empty holding cell. What could she do, the Director had ultimate power, the board were his puppets and as long as he clearly did not violate any rules he was untouchable. She felt so helpless and hated herself for it. She had to help this woman, but she wished she knew how.

 

Ava called the med bay and was told that this time Sara would be staying for at least a few days, which was a relief to her as that would mean the woman was save for a few precious hours. Ava left the office only for a few hours of sleep, a shower and fresh clothing and swore to herself that she would not let anything else happen to Sara if she could prevent it


	5. Chapter 5

Ava was nervous and dreaded the day Sara would be returned to her cell. She wondered what she could actually do to help the woman, but could not come up with anything. She would try and keep Bennett from his worst actions, yet if she interfered too much she ran the risk of being dismissed or send to an outpost and then Sara would be alone. That thought made Ava cringe and her stomach churned.

She had stopped wondering a while ago where her compassion for Sara came from, the woman was a human being and nobody deserved this kind of cruelty. Secretly Ava admitted to herself that she needed her evenings at Sara's side. As much as she wanted to comfort the suffering assassin, as much was she comforting herself. She could never make up for the horrific torture but some small part of her hoped she could at least provide some comfort.

Sara was returned to her cell the next day, she wasn’t conscious as Garry told Ava. The doctors had decided to keep her in an artificial coma to help heal the damage done to her brain by lack of oxygen and blood supply. She was lying there, covered in a thin blanket. Nobody had bothered to dress the helpless woman and Ava felt upset about it for some reason. Two drips were attached to Sara, one in each arm, and as Garry had mentioned she was force-fed twice a day. 

Ava felt relief wash over her, coma meant that there was no need for more interrogation at this point in time, it would give her a much needed extended period of time to heal. Ava returned to her routine, spending hours every night at the woman's side, holding her hand, stroking her face and speaking to her softly. Ava felt very alone in this hours but imagined what it must have felt for Sara to dread every morning because of the pain that was awaiting her. The scar on her throat was healing quite well, yet it would be a vivid reminder for the rest of her life. Ava's breath hitched and tears welled up.

Was there even the chance to live after all this suffering? What if the bureau decided to kill her or much worse, what if Bennett would simply continue with his torture. Ava had suspected for a long time that the Director drew some very disturbing satisfaction out of torturing the woman. He was mad, and that made this whole situation so dangerous - for her and for Sara.

Ava did evaluate all her options over and over again, there was no point involving the board - they had sanctioned Bennetts actions after all. She was the most senior agent after Bennett, so there wasn’t anyone she could ask for help either. She was helpless and hated every bit about it. Worst of all, she started to question her commitment and involvement with the bureau. The organisation had made a 180 degree turn on everything that Rip had ever wanted it to be. He had warned Ava before he had gone rogue, he had warned her to watch Bennett closely as he was corrupted. Ava had not listened, she had been so blind.

Ava suddenly gasped. It was her fault, Sara's suffering was all her fault. She had mercilessly hunted the Legends to the day when their Captain had been too careless. Ava felt horrible. She had known that Sara was drawn to her sisters grave, and would try and visit it as often as possible. She had known that she would be an easy target because she always went alone to see Laurels grave. All it had taken was patience and a bit of luck. In the end, the capture of Sara Lance was rather unspectacular. They had shot her with a dart, and she had toppled over unconsciously in an instant. Oh, how Ava had enjoyed the video of her capture, how she had gloated. She had basked in the glory of being the mastermind behind the capture of the Captain of the Waverider. 

Ava suddenly hated the momories of that day. She hated her inflated ego, her inability to read Bennetts behaviour of someone being possessed. She was at fault for Sara's suffering, and she could never forgive herself for it. She squeezed Sara's hand, gently stroking the face of the assassin and whispered. “I am sorry, Sara. I am truly sorry.” Ava decided she did not deserve the comfort she drew from her visits, she was shaking badly.

She had no more right to be here. It was a parody really, her whole existence was a joke. She was, Ava decided, just as horrible and short-sighted as all the other people she had loved to look down on. Sara was living proof of that, so Ava got up and left.

A day later she was assigned to oversee the setting up of a new bureau outpost, training the staff and establishing the necessary processes. Garry kept her in the loop about Sara and after each update, Ava felt the overwhelming guilt wash over her every time. There were no changes to Sara's condition yet, and the medics had indicated that she would probably remain in a coma for at least four more weeks. Ava felt relieved at that, but she also knew that this was just a temporary break for the woman. Once she was healthy, Ava had no doubt in her mind that Bennett would continue with his torture. 

The first day back in HQ Ava was not sure what to do. She felt she had no right to comfort Sara, but seeing her lying in that cell the woman looked so lost and lonely that Ava felt a strange urge in her heart. She decided that although she did not deserve the comfort, Sara certainly did and since Ava was the only one around to provide any, it was her duty. When nearly all the staff had left, Ava went to see Sara, took her usual position and looked at her. She finally took her hand and started to rub it gently with her thumb. Ava's gaze wandered over the small form of the captain when she suddenly noticed a small speck of blood close to where her thighs came together.

Ava blushed a little but was intrigued nevertheless. She knew from her files that the Assasins had lost most of her uterus at an early age while in training with the league, so this could not be related to a period. Ava hesitated. Technically, Sara was in a coma and she could not ask for consent, but she needed to know what was going on. Surely the medics would know about any injuries but there was nothing mentioned in Sara's files.

Ava turned and lifted the blanket, only slightly hesitating. Sara had been a beautiful woman, even Ava had to admit that, she wasn’t blind. Frankly, Sara was still beautiful, but the scars were rather visible and she was very thin. The amount of torture Sara has had to endure would have had to take its toll. Ava suddenly felt nauseous. A bit mark was clearly visible on the inside of Sara's thigh, rather close to her private parts.  Ava's mind started to spiral.

What was going on here? The bitemark looked fresh and was so severe that it had been bleeding. The wound did not look old to Ava and she swallowed hard. Dread settled over her, Bennett surely would not go as low as… the image was so horrible that Ava tried to stop herself from even going down that path. Ava covered Sara again, her head still spinning. She rose and rushed to her office, going through the security tapes that recorded the prison cells 24/7. She found nothing. Ava checked the tapes over and over again but there was nothing. Yet she knew that Sara had not been moved from her cell for the last three days. Someone somehow had done a probably unspeakable act on the assassin but why was there nothing on the tapes.

Ava rubbed her temples and closed her eyes. There must be something, she thought. She watched the tapes again and suddenly noticed a nearly undetectable hitch in the stream every day around 4 am. Excitement builds in her. This was something, this was the first piece of the puzzle. The tapes would not get her any further, however, so Ava decided to not go home but keep watch over Sara and maybe intervene with whatever Bennett had planned now. 

It was a very long night, and Ava had to use all her strength and resilience to not fall asleep when at around 3:45 am the cell door opened and Bennett entered. Ava shot from her chair, suddenly very awake and on high alert. She watched in horror as the Director pulled the blanket from the comatose woman, one hand buried in his pants. “Oh no you sick bastard, you would not...,” Ava whispered watching in horror as the abuse unfolded. Bennett was swift, pushing Sara's legs apart, settling himself between them. Ava gasped and was finally able to move. She ran towards the stairs, trying to reach the holding cells as quickly as possible. When she reached the floor she coughed and made more noise than necessary to force the Director to stop with whatever he was doing.

Before she could reach the cell, Bennett left the room. His face was red and sweaty and he looked guilty and angry. “What are you doing her, Sharp?” “I could ask you the same question?” Ava said, staring at him and cocking an eyebrow. “I was checking up on her, we need some progress, the board is getting impatient.” “Ah,” Ava said simply but did not look away. Bennet cleared his throat and moved past her.

Ava rushed into the room, but Bennett seemed to have managed to clean up the sceneSara was lying there as if nothing had ever happened. Ava felt sick and nearly puked. How could a human act like that, did he really hate the Captain so much that he would heed no boundaries? Then again, he already killed her once and on several occasion brought her close to death. Ava supposed that someone that mad, would probably stop at nothing.

Ava hurried back to her office to secure the evidence, surely this would have to be the final straw - even for the board. She saved the stream on her local drive and wanted to cut to the relevant scenes only realising then that there was nothing there. Bennett must have already interfered with the security tapes. Ava slammed her hand hard on her desk. “Damn it, you bastard. You vile, disgusting bastard!” she shouted at no one in particular. What on earth was she supposed to do, she could not take this any longer. Something had to happen, she was running out of time here.

Ava knew that Sara would be saved for the rest of the day, so she decided to go for a walk outside to clear her mind. Something, anything really must be done. Ava wondered aimlessly, desperate for an answer that did not seem out there when she thought she saw a familiar face in the crowd. Zari, that was Zari - Ava was sure about it and she hurried after her, seeing her disappear into a small side alley. Ava ran as fast as she could and turned into the alley, desperately searching for a sign of the Legend when her world went dark. 

When she awoke, her head was throbbing and she was bound to a chair, a gag stuffed deeply into her mouth. Ava blinked a few times until her vision cleared. She was on the wave rider, surrounded by the Legends. Zari looked at her murderously, and Mick looked as if he was ready to punch her. Amaya stepped forward and ungagged her. Ava swallowed hard, trying to compose herself. Before any of the legends could say anything she whispered: “Sara, she needs help. We must save her. Please help me!” tears were now freely flowing from her eyes. The desperation in her voice and eyes were so tangible that even Mick looked worried now.

“Untie her Zari”, Amaya said. “This bitch does not deserve our pity!” Zari snarled. Ava nodded at that and said quietly: “ She is right, I don’t.”


	6. Chapter 6

Zari untied Ava unceremoniously and stepped away from her with a look of utter disgust. Ava did not dare meet her gaze, the hostility was almost tangible in the room. Amaya stepped in front of her and said: “You better talk now, and the truth or this won’t end well for you.” Ava swallowed hard, tears were threatening to fall. “Bennett, he is out of control. He legalized torture and there is no one I can go to for help now. He is torturing Sara.. and.. and.. he is doing other things!” she could no longer contain her tears and the last word was muffled by her sobbing. “Get a grip, there is no need to pretend you care,” Amaya said icily.

Ava sobbed harder, she deserved this and worse. She was at fault. “I am so sorry..” she whispered, her eyes downcast. “To late now bitch!” Mick growled and threw a bottle at the wall next to her. Shards hit Ava in the face, and she startled. “The next one hits you!” Mick threatened. Ava started shaking.

“Please,” she whined, her hands clutched together so hard that her knuckles were white.”We have got to help her, Bennett.. he.. he already killed her once last week.. and now..!” she sobbed. “How can we help her?” Zari snarled. “I..I..don't know!” Ava cried out loud, burying her face in hands. “I was trying to help, I AM trying to help her but I don’t know how to stop this.” “What is that bastard doing to her?” Nate shouted at Ava, desperation in his voice. Ava swallowed before she looked up and stared at Nate. “He is slowly killing her. And I can’t stop this. It is all my fault.” she whispered, fresh tears running over her cheeks. “Take her away,” Amaya said simply.

Ava knew she could not expect consolidation for herself, she was the reason the beloved captain of the Waverider, of this small family of misfits was slowly but surely dying. She deserved everything these people would see fit, and she would endure it all as long as she could help save Sarah first. Ray moved to Ava and gestured her to go towards the holding cell of the Waverider.

Ava had never felt this lonely in her life, she was shaking so badly that she stumbled more then she walked, crying so hard that she could hardly see yet there was no comfort for her. Ray did not even make a move to help her or steady her.  Ava felt sick, and all she wanted was to curl up in a ball and wake up from this nightmare. Everything she had believed in had been taken, worst of all - SHE was part of the reason. She would have to live with this guilt that seemed to be crushing her very soul. When she entered the cell she turned to face Ray who avoided looking at her. “Ray, please. You can hate me as much as you like but you need to let me help, I need to help save her. Please, Ray!”

The Atom, the man with the kindest eyes Ava had ever seen, looked at her so full of hatred that Ava recoiled gasping. “Why did you hate her so much Ava, when everybody else loved her so much for what she is?” Ava shook her head, eyes squeezed shut. “How could you hate someone, who had already endured more pain, suffering and loss then anybody could even imagine, and still turned out to be so loving?” Ava winced at his words, and retreated, shaking her head. She did not know, she did not know why.

“Why Ava, does a human being, who would have deserved kindness, love, happiness and a place to feel at home has to go through hell AGAIN?” he shouted at her know. “This woman died twice already, and now you are part of the reason she died a third time!” he was moving towards Ava, eyes blazing with a fire so unbecoming of him that Ava stumbled backwards into a corner, and shrunk into a tiny ball. Preparing for the worst.

Ray Palmer did not beat her though, he did not touch her at all. He spat on the ground before her feet. “You know that Sara, through all this time you were hunting us like rats, has ALWAYS been your advocate. She always tried to defend your action, always tried to find the good in you! You probably never realised that this woman had it in her to reserve a place in her heart for what turned out to be her biggest enemy. She always believed in the good in you, Ava. When everybody else had given up on you for a long time, she believed that you would do the right thing..”

Ava stared at Ray in disbelief. Snod was running over her lips, her eyes rimmed red and bloodshot. She shook her head. “No.” She whispered. “I..I..didnt!” Ray looked at her, and now his eyes were blank. “She was wrong,” Ray said simply. Ava looked at him and when his words finally sank in, something in her died, it felt almost physical. Ray left her then, but Ava wished he would have ended her.

Death would have been better than this, she felt so hollow and so broken that she could not see how she could ever continue with her life. Life.. for what, for whom. Everything she had believed in, she had betrayed or it had betrayed her. She closed her eyes and fell into an uneasy slumber after a long time. When she awoke she screamed in horror. She had been back in the room in the cellar, only this time, it was her beating Sara, laughing and enjoying it. Ava puked and retched until she nearly passed out.

The next time she awoke she was no longer alone.

Rip sat on the bunkbed and looked at her. Ava saw no hatred in eyes, she saw disappointment and pity. Ava sat up and hoped for anything remotely close to a solution. “Tell me everything!” Rip said simply, and Ava did. She told him all she knew, every single detail. When she talked about Sara's ordeal, pain, sadness, rage and despair was showing so openly on Rips face that Ava had to avoid looking at him.

After Ava finished, Rip simply sat on the bed, his face hidden in his hands. “Oh, Ava..!” was all he whispered. Ava moved towards him and grasp his hand, prying it away from his face. “You have to help her, Rip!” she begged him. “Please, Rip.. if she dies… if..if..!” Ava started to cry again, her words failing her. Rip did not say anything nor he did not squeeze her hand but pulled it away as if burned. “Why do you care now, Ava?” Ava shook when she spoke: “I will never forgive myself for this, Rip. Never. Please help Sara, because I can’t!” “I will talk to the legends, we’ll figure things out quickly!” Ava nodded, then she looked up excitedly. “Garry!” she exclaimed. “Garry would surely be an ally, he hates Bennett, and he seemed to care for Sara's fate!” Rip nodded thoughtfully.

“An inside job..?” he mused to himself. “We will need your help Ava, maybe you can redeem yourself.” “No, Rip, this I can never make up to Sara,” Ava whispered. Rip left her without a reply and Ava was alone. She felt cold, inhuman almost. Loneliness and darkness had settled in her soul now, there was nothing left in her that wasn’t broken or corrupted by sadness and guilt.

Mick came to get her, he looked like he would have rather killed her then have her walk back to the bridge. When they entered the looks on the Legends face were a mix of hope, desperation and sadness. Ava looked at Ripe expectantly. “We need to kill Bennett!” Rip said simply. “Once he is gone, you will be the next in line for the director position and can put an end to this.” “What about the Board?” Ava asked with a shaky voice.

“Yes, the board will be another problem”, Rip said slowly. “We won’t have to take them out, maybe one or two. With the board in disarray, Ava will get full control immediately since it is an emergency - as long as she is not connected to the murders!” Zari nodded. “Let's work in teams, Amaya and I will take care of the board, Mick, Rip, Nate and Ray will get to Bennett!” “Ava, we will return you to the day we abducted you. You need to get Garry to help you, to set this up. If we could set up a kidnapping of Garry, and then use is a portal device to get as close to Bennetts office as possible we could take him out before security arrives. You need to be with him, in his vicinity when it happens. For this to work, you have to be innocent!” Rip said. Ava nodded.

The plan was laid out, and as soon as Ava was back at the Beaurea she asked Garry to join her in her office. The Agent looked at her intently. “You know, I was wondering when we would finally do something about this! Ms Lance.. I mean.. she is so strong and stuff.. but this.. I think she won’t survive this. Well physically yes, but how could anyone's mind and soul survive this?”

Ava looked at the Agent, a pained expression on her face. “If someone could, it would be her. She has survived so much already, let's hope she can do it this time too.” Garry nodded somberly. “What do I need to do?” Ava looked at him in shock and the Agent chuckled. “You had that look, Agent Sharp. I know when something is up, and I know that you have tried to help Ms Lance and comfort her. So I hope there was a plan or something to end this mess!” Ava felt relief wash over her, maybe they had a chance.

She instructed him when and where to be so that the Legends and Rip had a chance to portal into the office. Bennett used to always be early, and Ava had advised to hit him when he was preparing his briefing at 6 am. Ava would be present at that time and then she hoped that all would go according to plan. Garry nodded and grabbed Ava's hand. “We can do this you know!” Ava swallowed hard and nodded. “I sure hope so.” She did not want to think about what came after they had freed Sara. It did not even matter what became of herself. The only thing that mattered was Sara.

The assassination of Director Bennett turned out to be so very unspectatcular that it took less than a minute. The plan worked so well that Ava was shocked to stare at the dead body of the Director once Rip had shot him several times from close proximity before he even knew what was happening. Amaya and Zari notified them only minutes later that they had managed to take out two of the board members too. “This was it,” Ava thought. But before she could say anything, Rip pointed the gun at her and said

“Ava, this needs to look as realistic as possible.” and before she could say a word Rip shot two bullets into her stomach. Ava gasped, more in surprise than actual pain at first. She doubled over when a searing heat ate itself through her insides. She pressed her hands on her stomach and saw thick, dark blood quell out between her fingers. She looked at Rip and the Legends but saw no pitty before she collapsed to the floor, and a thought flashed throgh her brain: Rip had not even said sorry..

When Ava awoke she was lying in the med bay. “Director Sharp, we are glad you're awake. We will finish your healing in approximately 5 minutes and then you will need to head to your office. We are under emergency Protokoll and need you to take charge.”

Ava nodded, she was pain-free already and the wounds on her stomach were already closing up.

She entered the Director Bennetts office - her office - she corrected herself. It had been cleaned, repaired and the body was gone. There was no evidence left that there had been an assassination or that there had been a Director Bennett at all. Ava used her emergency protocol files that gave her overrides to all systems and finally took charge. Garry was back on the office and she instructed him that she would see to Sara now before she would do anything else.

When Ava opened the cell, the woman stirred slightly. Ava pulled a chair towards the bed and took a rather white and fragile looking hand. “Sara”, she said softly. “Can you hear me?” Garry had told her that the medics had lifted the coma but that Sar would be quite weak for a few more days. The woman stirred some more and opened her eyes. The deep blue hit Ava like a hammer, they always had that effect on her she admitted. Before she could say anything, the blonde woman jerked her hand away and her eyes clouded over. She was desperately trying to crawl away from away, pure horror clearly visible in her face. “Sara,” Ava said, mortified by her behaviour.

“Sara, it's me, I won’t hurt you. Nobody will EVER hurt you again!” Ava tried to calm the panicking woman but Sara got tangled in her blanket and with a loud thud landed on the floor next to the bed. Ava quickly knelt down at her side. “Sara place, I won’t hurt you. You are safe now, please Sara..” Ava whispered to the woman that had tensed up at her feet, eyes blown wide with fear and terror, her hands balled to fists, clutching the thin blanket.

Ava reached out tentatively and placed her hand on Sara's sternum, gentle but incoherent words leaving her mouth until she saw the eyes of the assassin clear. “Shhhh, Sara. Your safe now, he is gone.” Sara looked at her, for the first time realising that it was Ava and her eyes cleared, her features softening while the panic subsided. “Ava..!” was all she managed to say but it was all the other woman needed. Ava moved closer and scooped up the fragile and weak form of Sara, lowering her back on the bed and covering her with the blanket. Sara felt light as a feather, but Ava was encouraged that she did not see defeat in her eyes. Maybe there was a chance?

Ava decided then and there that Sara had to leave this place, she had to be in a neutral environment to give her mind a break, to calm down and start the probably very long road to recovery. And Ava would be damned if she would not be there with her for every step of the way - if Sara would let her of course. “Garry,” she spoke into her comms. “I am taking Ms Lance to my place, she needs rest and recovery. Reroute any medication to my place.” There is not much happening here anyway, I will work from home portaling in when necessary in an instant. You need to cover my absence… please!” she added softly. “Of course, Director Sharp!” Garry nodded.

Ava opened a portal to her apartment, scooped up the exhausted captain and tugged her into her own bed a few seconds later. Sara suddenly woke with a start, but not panicking this time. “So warm and soft!” she said with a small smile, and Ava noticed how raspy and broken her voice sounded. Ava set on the bed by her side, holding her hand, gently stroking her face with the other. “You should rest now, you are safe here. I will protect you!” Sara gave her such a warm and tender look that Ava felt pain stab her heart. When would Sara realise that this had all been her fault? Ava thought, but Sara only nodded and drifted off to sleep, leaning into the gentle hand on her face.


	7. Chapter 7

When Ava was sure that Sara was sound asleep, she quietly left her bedroom and sat on her couch. She needed to calm her nerves, she still felt rather weak from her stay in the med bay and the last few months had drained her emotionally as well. Ava sighed, she needed to inform Rip and the Legends that Sara was safe. She could not leave Sara alone, however, and contemplated her next move carefully.

First, she called Garry for a quick heads up, but he assured her that for now, he was handling the calls for Ava quite well and scheduled appointments for followings days. Then, Ava contacted Rip to let him know that Sara was saved and staying with her for now, but before she could hang up a portal opened up and Zari, Amaya and Nate stood in her living room.

“She is not staying here!” Amaya said sternly, daring Ava to protest. Ava disconnected Rip and looked at the three Legends. “I can take care of her, I want to help..!” Ava said in a small voice. “You’ve done enough damage for a lifetime don’t you think!” Zari hissed.

Amaya placed a hand on Zaris shoulder and shook her head before addressing Ava. “Sara will come with us, you don’t know how much she will even remember once she has recovered a bit. Once she does, she needs to be with her family and on her ship.” There was a finality in Amayas voice that made Ava realize she would not win this fight, and she cast down her eyes.

“Where is the captain?” Nate asked, searching the room. “She is sleeping in the bedroom,” Ava whispered. Zari nodded and pushed past Ava, her shoulder bumping into the other woman with intentional force, making Ava cringe. She was medically cleared but her wounds were still a bit sore. “Aww, did that hurt?” Zari asked in a móckingly nice tone. Ava swallowed and avoided her eyes. “Zari…” Amaya said in a warning tone.

“WHAT, Amaya? This BITCH deserves everything that's coming to her and more. If I had my way I would make her experience some of the shit Sara had to endure because of HER. She is EVIL Amaya, there is no heart in this person..” Zari spat. Her eyes were ablaze with rage, and Nate had to step in between Ava and Zari to defuse the situation.

Ava took in Zaris words. Zari was right, it was that simple. What could she possibly say to her defence? So she just stood there and hung her head. Amaya watched Ava falter, retreat and shrink under Zaris words. The hands of the Director were shaking and tears were threatening to fall. She was suffering and Amaya couldn’t help pity her a bit. “Look Zari, I think whatever you’d like to do or say to Ava, she has already told her self or would do to herself. Look at her…!” Amaya offered to Zari.

“I hate her. I hate her so much!” Zari said quietly and Amays sighted. Ava shrunk back from the Legends and fled the room, locking herself into the bathroom before she broke down crying. Sobs were raking her body and her knees gave out. She curled up into a tight ball, tears streaming down her face and panic rising in her chest. She was so worthless, Zari was right. She was a heartless monster, driven by unhealthy ambition. Her inflated ego and her self-righteousness had never even once made her pause and consider the Captain of the Waverider for what she really was - a decent, loving human being.

For her, Sara Lance, Captain of the Waverider, had never been more than a pretty face with a rebellious mind and basically a walking conviction on legs that needed to be contained and locked away to protect order. And finally, when the order had spiralled into something so evil, Ava the self-proclaimed defender of law and order had been useless, powerless, helpless. Yes, she had never condoned the torture and cruelties of Bennett - but she had never fought it either in all consequence. She had waited and hoped and prayed that someone would help her instead of acting herself with all consequence.

Ava did not know how long she simply lay on the cold, tiled floor and cried. When she got up, her body was aching and her eyes were burning. She splashed her face with cold water but the reflection meeting her in the mirror hardly resembled herself anymore. Her face looked hollow, her eyes were bloodshot with dark circles, her skin was pale and blotched with hectic red spots. When she looked into her own eyes she saw cold loneliness staring back at her. She was broken, Ava thought. Ava knew what to do now. When she left the bathroom, the legends had already taken Sara, and her flat felt cold and empty.

Ava showered, dressed and returned to the bureau. She worked tirelessly for the next weeks to fix some of the damage Bennett had done. She set up an enquiry into the board, and after another few weeks of going through the evidence, she was able to dismiss the remaining board and set up a new one with what she hoped would be decent people. Their first order was to reverse the law on torture, additionally setting up new rules that would prevent any overrides in the future.

The next weeks were spent to clean house in the bureau to make sure Bennett legacy would be eradicated. Avas final act was to review all accusations against the Legends and Rip Hunter to clear them of all charges. When she had the go-ahead of the Board to clear the Legends and Rip of all charges, Ava relaxed into her chair.

Ava called Rip and explained the new developments to him. Rip listened intently, watching the Director closely. She did not look good, she stood erect and everything about her scream professional, yet her eyes were a whirlwind of emotion, an unasked question staring at Rip through the screen. When Ava finished given Rip the news there was an awkward pause. “Thank you, Ava.” Rip said somberly. Ava nodded. “How…?” she started to ask but stopped her self, her head dropping toward her chest.

“Sara is doing ok considering what she lived through. Physically she has recovered, although the scarring is horrific she doesn’t seem to mind that very much. We are worried about her mental state however, she won’t show any weakness but she drinks very heavily and Gideon reports that she hardly sleeps. We all tried to speak to her but none of us can get through to her. She deals with this the only way she knows how - alone. Rip sighted, rubbing his face. There's still the issue of sexual abuse. She doesn’t know about yet, at least we think so. We are debating if we should tell her, but… well.. I don’t know!”

Ava looked up and nodded. “Thank you for giving me an update,” she said quietly. “Is there anything I can do to help?” Rip looked at her, carefully judging his next words. “Well, the crew will not let you near her, they.. well…” he trailed off. “Oh,” Ava said. “I guess..well...I…” Ava did not finish the sentence. “It was good to speak to you, Rip.” “By Ava.”

The call ended and Ava crumbled into her chair, her eyes closed. She was relieved that Sara was doing ok physically, but Rip did sound worried about her mental state. “Garry, I am done for today. If there is anything urgent please notify me immediately.” “Yes, Director Sharp!” Ava packed her things and opened a portal back into her flat.

In the last few weeks, she had only been here to catch a few precious hours of sleep, and even those were haunted by the same dream - Sara, bleeding and screaming because of Ava beating her. The flat seemed too big, it was cold and empty. Ava laughed bitterly. Her flat was just like her insides, a vast, empty space offering nothing but loneliness.

Ava took a shower that did not make her feel better, then sat on a couch and ate a take-out pizza that tasted of nothing before mindlessly flipping through the TV. She couldn’t focus, she did not want to focus. She wanted to distract herself from… well herself. After two hours she became restless before switching of the TV.

She simply sat there, in the quiet darkness that had fallen over her home. She was alone in the flat, but her mind made her hear noises. Was that the sound of a cane on soft skin? Was that a rustling of chains? Was that a laboured breath from an injured person. He mind started to race and she couldn’t take it anymore. She pulled on some cloth, grabbed her jacket and fled her apartment, aimlessly wandering around the city before the cold of the night drove her into a small dyke bar in a shady avenue.

The place was half empty, country music was blaring from a cheap speaker system and the air was stale. Ava did not care though, she made her way to the bar and down a double shot of whisky. The liquid burned her throat, but she enjoyed the heat it created in her stomach. Finally, Ava thought, something other than this god damn coldness inside her. Ava ordered more but slowed down trying to enjoy the taste of it. Her mind went back to the Captain.

She had not known Sara Lance liked her that much, hell she had not even realised that Sara respected her at all.  Ava shook her head. Ray’s words came back to her mind. Everybody loved Sara Lance for what she was, a loving, caring person. Why in the world had Ava held such a strong dislike? She could not explain any of this to herself, and then she remembered how she held the other woman's hand, how she had tried to comfort her and how much she had comfort for herself she had drawn out this small gesture. Ava snorted into her glass. She was such a mess, she was a waste of a human being. A single tear ran down her cheek. Ava buried her face in her hands when a tender touch made her jump.

She turned around and stared into the incredibly blue eyes of Sara Lance. “What…?” she started but her words faltered as she was mesmerized by the woman standing before her. Sara looked stunning in the light, the scars in her face had healed well enough and only added to her features in a strange way. Another tear ran down her cheek, when Sara's hand came up to Avas face gently brushing it away. Ava shuddered under her touch and the trail of her thump left a burning sensation on her skin.

“Hi.” was all Sara said, a small smile on her lips. “Sara,” Ava whispered. “You mind me joining in?” Sara asked without breaking eye contact. “No, no not at all..” Ava stuttered. Sara took a seat next to Ava and ordered a whisky herself. The two women sat in silence for a while, Ava struggling to avoid staring at Sara but stealing glances here and there.

“What are you doing here, Director Sharp?” Sara asked, not looking at Ava. The director swallowed hard. “I couldn’t stand the silence anymore,” she whispered. “Talk to me, Ava,” Sara growled suddenly, catching her eyes with hers. “Everyone is so fucking careful around me, it drives me insane!” Sara said angrily, slamming her glass down on the table. Ava jumped from the sound and the anger in Sara's voice. Sara kept staring at Ava, daring her to look away. “You look like shit Ava, you look like a zombie, to be frank. So talk to me.”

Ava averted Sara's gaze and looked at her fidgeting hands. “What do you want to hear, Sara,” she said quietly. “That I am sorry that you got tortured and killed and…!” Ava stopped herself there while head snapped up and she looked at Sara in utter horror, her mouth hanging open. “And…? And what?” Sara asked, her face inches away from Ava, eyes burning with a hidden rage. Ava swallowed hard but did not know what to answer. Sara's hand shot forward and she grabbed Ava's arm, her fingers digging into her biceps, certain to leave bruises. Sara spoke through gritted teeth. “Talk to me, god damn it. I need to know what happened. I NEED TO KNOW!” and with that, she almost pushed Ava from her seat.

Ava caught herself from falling, she was suddenly very scared of the situation. The captain was breathing hard, her chest heaving and her eyes burning with open rage, she looked like she was ready to kill someone. Ava looked at her and finally understood. Sara knew there was something the team wasn’t telling her, she knew something was wrong and she was going insane searching for answers. “He raped you while you were in a coma,” Ava said quietly, holding Saras angry stare. The ex-assassin processed Ava's words for a second or two before recoiling with ferocity as if she fast hit by a train.

Her face contorted in a grimace of self-loathing, hatred and rage. Sara gagged, running her hands over her face in an unconscious motion. “Sara,“ Ava said worriedly, trying to comfort her. Sar did not seem to see her though, she looked like a woman possessed. “Sara..” Ava said again, grabbing the Assasin by her shoulders. “I am sorry, I am so sorry, Sara. Please talk to me!” Ava shook her gently, trying to get a reaction from the now limp woman. Sara's eyes slowly dragged up to Avas, searching the other woman's face.

Ava tried to say something, anything really to comfort the clearly distressed woman but when she opened her mouth there was no sound. “Sara.. come with me?” Ava finally said, softly tugging at the hand of the captain. Sara moved like she was in a trance and both women left the bar, turned a corner before Ava opened a portal into her flat. When she let go of Sara's hand the other woman just stood there, like a lifeless puppet. Ava wasn’t sure what to do next.

“Sara? Please talk to me!” but the canary query made no sound, her eyes resting on Ava and following her every movement. Ava debated with herself whether she should call Rip but wasn't sure of the Waverider Crew would be very helpful now, she then thought to sit Sara on the sofa but finally decided to try and get Sara to rest in her bed. The assassin looked like a ghost, Ava thought worriedly, her face haunted and her eyes distant and lifeless at times.

Ava directed her to the bedroom and Sara followed like a puppet on strings. Ava undressed the other woman carefully, grimacing at the sight of the healed scars all over her body. Darkness welled up in her but she pushed it down, Sara needed her now. She could pity and hate herself later!

She tugged Sara under the blanket and sat next to her, not sure what to do next. Sara was staring at the ceiling, she looked dazed and worlds away. Ava reached out to her face gingerly, gently stroking her cheek, tracing her brow and jaw with fingertips. Sara closed her eyes at Ava's touch, her face leaning into the tenders of the touch, craving it, needing it. Sara's hand started to search for Avas on the blanked, desperately clutching at the fabric.

Ava took it in her other hand and squeezed lightly. “I am here, Sara.” The ex-assassin shuddered violently, squeezing Ava's hand so hard that she had to groan.

“Shhhh, Sara. I am here, I am with you..” she cooed, trying to calm the distressed woman. Sara pulled Ava towards her, confusion and desperation now clearly visible on her face. Ava stopped Sara gently, before getting up to quickly take off her jeans, shoes and her jumper. Ava pulled on a Pyjama and headed back to the distraught woman, carefully slipping underneath the blanket not wanting to startle the captain.

As soon as she had layn down however, Sara almost jumped on her, her arms desperately clinging to Ava, her face burying deep into Ava's neck. Ava tenderly wrapped her arms around the needy woman, rocking her gently, stroking her while whispering soothing words to her. After a while, Sara's grip loosened a bit and Ava moved them both into a more comfortable position. Ava listened to Sara's slowing breathing and felt the ex-assassins heart slow down from its frantic pace.

Ava kept stroking her, her hands running tenderly over the scars in her naked arms, allowing herself to drift into sleep too, the smell of Sara in her nose, warming her deserted insides somehow.


End file.
